Being able to communicate effectively is an essential skill to have, especially conversations with people that are engaging and that can create a sense of trust and friendship.
The best advice to become a more engaging person to talk to is to become an active listener. This means giving a person your full attention, letting them finish their thought, display behaviors that show you are listening (like nodding your head or providing verbal feedback), being actually interested, asking questions, and clarifying (Ishak, 2016).
I remember a recent conversation with a friend who wanted to vent about his current relationship. The conversation was mostly one way as he didn’t allow me to become interested in it by not letting me finish sentences that were designed to ask questions and clarify. I quickly lost interest in the conversation as it started to become an announcement or instead of a conversation.
My friend could have improved our conversation if he had only shown the same interest in listening to his story as he did with my feedback. However, because I felt it was not a conversation, I quickly lost interest and only provided faux feedback so that he could finish his story and I can move on with my day.
The idea of active listening is a two-way street. Both parties need to engage in each other’s stories so that neither party loses interest in the other. Once interest is lost, it’s pretty much a waste of time because the quality of information that is being transferred or created is sub-par.
Ishak R. (2016 July 29). 11 ways to be more engaging in your conversations & make friends. Retrieved from https://www.bustle.com/articles/169621-11-ways-to-be-more-engaging-in-your-conversations-make-more-friends